The Airing of Grievances 2013

Yes friends it is that time of year once again, my one real moment of care about the Holiday season here in my slice of the Earth. A single exercise as taken from a television comedy over a decade ago that has almost etched itself into the cultural canon alongside the Christmas Tree, the Hanukkah menorah, and Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake. The Airing of Grievances.

But I'm in a mood this year - a mysterious mood I can't quite label. And the result is thus: this year's airing of grievances is less about you and all your many faults but more of my own and the faults of existence in general. But I'm sure I'll find a way to fit you in. You make it so easy.

-I've never knowingly heard Death Grips and I don't care to. I have no interest in Lorde, of whom I've never heard until last week. 5 thousand times this year I heard folks on shows like Soundcheck and All Songs Considered say "this song is just everywhere" and I've never heard the song before. I was going to write a whole new essay about my lack of hipness in the wake of a couple crackin' years last decade but then I just re-read this and nothing's changed so take that link and eat it. It ain't just my problem. Everyone played a part.

-To that end, you know things have really changed when you know more about the managerial problems of Tottenham Hotspur than about the new Vampire Weekend record. And by you I mean me.

-Speaking of sports, how is it an old man who expected me to explain to him why the Buffalo Sabres rehired their old coach and expects me to know the drafted rookies in the minors for the New York Islanders can then turn around and imply I'm the one who is a sports nut when I expressed interest in watching some of the free limited time hockey package on cable?

-Speaking of Tottenham Hotspur, the ladies in the house are real sad now that the handsome face of Andres Villas-Boas will no longer grace the weekend morning TV screen.

-New Year's Resolution: get a degree in Astro-Physics then do nothing with it.

-I read Infinite Jest and only understood a sporadic few pages of it. I blame you.

-I GOT SCREWED OF OUT OF TICKETS FOR THE HOLD STEADY'S 10TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW BECAUSE THEY'RE POPULAR AND ALSO TICKETMASTER IS A NIGHTMARE AND IT REQUIRES ALL CAPS AND ANGER.

-36% of all movies I see in theatres star Steve Coogan.

-Meme.

-You know what? Homeland is not a good TV show.

-Why doesn't St. Patrick's Day get the same scorn as Santa Con? All these years later and we're still walking on egg shells with the Irish.

-I listened to every Ramones record in chronological order earlier this year and the bad stuff wasn't that bad. Well it wasn't as bad as that time you tried to get me to like X Factor.

-I'd give Taoism a try if no one was looking.

- You thought it would be funny when it got real cold last week to say to me "Well..Better Call Sol." How stupid. Shut up.