Consolers of the Lonely: The Pennypacker Perspective

To be done in the style of a Donald Rumsfeld monologue:

Is the sophomore album by the supergroup known as the Raconteurs good? No. What's wrong with it? Almost everything. Is it really that different from the first album though? Sure and not in good ways. How so? The first album was a delicious little slice of 70's power pop, classic rock hits, and sweet, simple balladry while this album is a big, heapin' chunk of AOR filler. Could I be more specific than that? Sure - the vocals sound bored and dull, the power chords are lost in some kind of a panoply of mush, the song structures just aren't where they should be. Is this the end of the Raconteurs? No of course not - I know you read this and think "henny penny, the sky is falling" but look - mistakes were made, words were said, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen but there is almost no doubt that when heard live these songs will sound better - "Five on the Five" sounded excellent when it was performed during the first album tour. Is anything on this album worth listening to? The first half of "Salute Your Salution" is pretty much on target and "Hold Up" is as good as the album gets. Is that it? The middle third of the record actually holds up OK but it is bookended by such trifle that it doesn't really matter. Is it possible I may like this album someday? Anything is possible - just like loving an album on the first couple listens may eventually lead to hating it down the road or liking some parts and hating other parts of an album may switch - the problem with album critiques is that they are read as being a constant, never accounting for the possibility of a change of mind somewhere down the road. Is this the worst music Jack White has ever been involved with? Almost - he did produce Whirlwind Heat's first record and well, while a free people are free to do whatever they want, like looting, that's just one bit of music that is probably just unforgivable and I think the American people understand that. Thank you for coming.