You're The One For Me, Fatty?

This writer is a rotund individual. A rather plump bit of meat (see my profile description for pete's sake). So it is with self-recognition that I declare I am sick of Beth Ditto. The drunken antics and the shameless change in the Gossip's music was enough but her "fat and proud" shtick has got to go. My superiors have this story covered (here and here) but let it be noted that the time has finally come to bring the hysteria over the Gossip back to Earth.

It's one thing to champion not being a drugged-out, chain-smoking, forced-starving louse. And no one needs to be a gym-nut macho jerk-off. But it's another thing to mask a defeatist attitude about being out of a shape behind a "pride" facade. The right way to do it lies well within these extremes.

It's great that England has discovered the Gossip. It's great that the British hipsters are not looking anymore to Kate Moss and Pete Doherty but to someone a lot more real and less decrepit. And while it is obvious that the Gossip changed their sound from a hard-rocking punk blues band to a dance-rock band purely to make it big, they're good at their new sound (in fact, Standing in the Way of Control makes for great work-out music in addition to a Saturday night party record). And while I've seen enough videos and pictures from shows to see how annoying Ditto can be, I am sure they put on one hell of a show. But what does she have to be proud about? Instead of "fat and proud", why not label it so that more of us pudgies can relate? How about "Out of breath from a flight of stairs and proud"? "Proud to be sweating from 75 degrees Fahrenheit"? "Dead from a heart attack before 65 and lovin' it?"

It's a struggle to get and stay healthy in this world. In the poor parts of this planet, people are starving everyday. In the richer parts, the less well-off are not starving, in fact they are the fattest subset of the species. It's too easy to eat bad and not exercise and so many of us give into it. Some of us can't help it - genetics and all that. But that does not mean we should accept a defeatist attitude. And even if we do, let's do it right - with sadness and cynicism. To hide it behind a veneer of pride is a bad message. Think of it right now, some little London gal is scarfing down a pint with fish & chips because if Beth Ditto can be lauded for her pride, it's ok to be like that.

And again, this is coming from one bona fide lardo. I know these things.

Oh, but say one thing for that NME cover: You have to love where they put Paul McCartney's face on it.

And to show no hard feelings, here is the original video for "Listen Up" (and yes, she looks cute in it):